Perfect Home Alarm

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FROM THE NRA: HOW TO INSTALL THE NEW HOME SECURITY SYSTEM:
‘1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men’s used size 14-16 work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with several empty beer cans, a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine and several NRA magazines.
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads: ‘Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim, I went to the gun shop for more ammo. Back in an hour. Don’t mess with the pit bulls — they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don’t think Killer took part in it, but i t was hard to tell from all the blood.
PS – I locked all four of ‘em in the house. Better wait outside.’
INSTALLATION COMPLETE!!!!