Priceless

 

A man was being tailgated by a stressed-out woman on a busy boulevard. Suddenly, the light turned yellow,

just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red

light by accelerating through the intersection.

The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn, screaming in frustration (probably flipping him off) as

she missed her chance to get through the intersection, dropping her cell phone, makeup and spilling her coffee.

As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious

police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to the police station

where she was searched, finger printed, photographed, and placed in a holding cell.

After a couple of hours , a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to

the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.

He said, ‘I’m very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your

horn, flipping off the guy in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the ‘What Would Jesus

Do?’ bumper sticker, the ‘Choose Life’ license plate holder, the ‘Follow Me to Sunday-School’ bumper

sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk; naturally… I assumed you had stolen the

car.’

Priceless.

New Teacher Applicant

New Teacher Applicant
After being interviewed by the school administration,
the teaching prospect said,

“Let me see if
I’ve got this right: You want me to go into that room with all those kids, correct their disruptive behavior, observe them for signs of abuse, monitor their dress habits, censor their T-shirt messages, and instill in them a love for learning. You want me to check their backpacks for weapons, wage war on drugs and sexually transmitted  diseases, and raise their sense of self esteem and personal pride.  You want me to teach them patriotism and good citizenship, sportsmanship and fair play, and how to register to vote, balance a checkbook and apply  for a job. You want me to check their heads for lice, recognize signs of antisocial behavior, and make sure that they all pass the state exams. You want me to provide them with an equal education regardless of their  handicaps, and communicate regularly with their
parents by letter,  telephone, newsletter, and report card.  You want me to do all this with a piece of chalk, a blackboard, a bulletin board, a few books, a big smile, and a starting salary that qualifies me for food stamps. You
want me to do all this, and then you tell me…………..
 
I CAN’T PRAY?”